Usless Advice Mondays: Movies Provide Advice Too

Sometimes, you get a little piece of advice from a movie that really holds true. Most of the time movies offer candy-wrapped gimmick lessons that a ADD crazed 8 year old hopped up on Ridalyn and pop rocks could catch, but sometimes, there are clever little gems, tucked away in the dialogue, that prove to be most profound. Sometimes, these are simply statements that, when applied to daily life, can serve as sound advice. One example (but not the topic of this post) is "Nobody can eat 50 eggs."

This is simply a statement in the movie "Cool Hand Luke", but if we apply it to real life, it holds as solid advice:

EGG-EATER

Man I'm hungry. I could eat like, 50 eggs.

WISE NINJA-MASTER

Nobody can eat 50 eggs. While you think you can, and you may actully consume those 50 eggs, I assure you that it will result in massive digestive failure and you'll spend the next 48 hours passing the apocalypse through your bowels. So eat 50 eggs if you like, but it will not be to your benefit. In the end, the eggs will consume YOU.

See? That's pretty fucking deep.

In the Charlotte, NC area, there is a church called the Kinetic Church. If you like, you can read up on them here. Apparently, this church had a trailer that they used for mobile ministry services, child wellness, etc. Somebody stole the trailer earlier in the year. Being a different kind of church, they decided to try and get the word out in a unique way. They were able to get the use of 5 billboards donated to them and the posted some messages to try to get the thief and/or someone who knows about said theivery to come forward. Now, a typical church taking this approach might put something like "If you have any information, please blah blah blah whatever we're still going to be nice about this." Not the Kinetic Church, no sir. They instead have apparently heeded the advice that is the basis for this post. It's from a movie that has served as an inspirational tale for millions: The Big Lebowski. To quote:

QUINTANA

You said it, man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

So they busted out with the following 5 billboards, each of which I personally beheld during my recent trip to Charlotte:

#1:
CHURCH TRAILER STOLEN
Stealing From God.....Ballsy.

#2:
CHURCH TRAILER STOLEN
Seriously? Are You Kidding me?

#3:
CHURCH TRAILER THIEVES
Enjoying Our Communion Trays?

#4:
CHURCH TRAILER THIEVES
Ever Worry About Lighning Strikes?

#5:
CHURCH TRAILER THIEVES
God Forgives You - But We Need Our Stuff Back!

Doubting me? Try this:

Now, I have to give it to them.....that's badass. If nothing else, I'm sure the CHURCH TRAILER THIEF feels like a damn chump right now. And there is absolutely no worse feeling than Chumpification.